What Dreams May Come

The Stephen King Horror Library

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 23:02:02 GMT

Next on my list:

Something Wicked by Ray Bradbury
The Doll Who Ate His Mother by Ramsey Campbell
Strange Wine by Harlan Ellison
The Body Snatchers by Jack Finney
The Fog by James Herbert
The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson
Rosemary's Baby by Ira Levin
The Shrinking Man by Richard Matheson
~~The House Next Door by Anne Rivers Siddons~~
Ghost Story by Peter Straub

Survey (x-posted)

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:48:23 GMT

Are you listening to anything?
♪ I'm watching the movie "The Broken", from the After Dark Horrorfest III. It's actually pretty good so far.

When's the last time you brushed your teeth?
♪ This afternoon, after lunch.

What did you have for breakfast today?
♪ I didn't have breakfast this morning. For lunch, though, I had ground beef with potatoes and rice.

Are you reading a book?
♪ I'm a little more than a third of the way through "Change of Heart" by Jodi Picoult.

Would you ever consider getting your nose peirced?
♪ Eh... no thanks.

Are your parents still together?
♪ Yes.... happily married for 23 years now.

What are you looking forward to?
♪ A lot of thigs, actually. The road trip Matt and I are taking in like two weeks, buying Gossip Girl season 2 on DVD, watching Jennufer's Body in September, graduating from college in the Spring!

When you're upset, who do you go to?
♪ I don't go to anyone right away... I sleep through it, take a shower, jog, listen to music.... THEN I'll talk to either Matt or my mom.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
♪ Matt... I was feeling weepy cause our pet mouse died. We had him for a little over three years and he was so friendly. =[

When did you last take a shower?
♪ Last night. I like taking my showers at night.

Are there a lot of pillows on your bed?
♪ A whole bunch. We sleep with pillows all over the place.

What's the most physical pain you've ever felt?
♪ I had mono this one time and it was horrible!

How much money do you have to your name?
♪ I'm not sure right now, but it'll be a lot more once Friday comes along. It's payday!

How old would be ideal for you to have children?
♪ I'm thisclose to graduating from college, and I'm 22 years old right now... I want to start and get a career going first... Maybe until I'm like 27? I don't know. I don't even know if I ever want kids.

Do you have any friends that you've known since you were young?
♪ Yes... I still talk to my best friend from elementary all the way to high school. We've known each other since we were 6 years old.

Have you ever dyed our hair?
♪ A few times... I haven't dyed it in a long time though.

What's your biggest fear?
♪ Losing someone I love.

Is there anyone that you tell EVERYTHING to?
♪ Matthew. definitely

Who did you last have a serious conversation with?
♪ My parents, this afternoon, about what university to transfer to so I can get my masters degree.

Are you better at academic or artsy things?
♪ Academics, so long as it does not include any sort of math.

Do you have any idea what you want to be when you grow up?
♪ Yes, a child psychologist.

What's your biggest goal?
♪ Currently, it's to graduate with my BA with as high a GPA as possible.

Have you ever been to a concert?
♪ Yup

Have you ever just told someone straight out, what they mean to you?
♪ Yes, although it didn't always end well, cause it was not always what they wanted to hear.

Do you ever hear a song, and think of memories, good or bad?
♪ No... I try not to associate songs with any specific events or people... although sometimes it seems inevitable.

Do you have a dream car?
♪ I really want a silver Lexus.

What's your favorite thing to eat that comes from the freezer?
♪ There are a few microwaveable meals that I really enjoy.

Do you like sweet potatoes?
♪ Yes! I could go for something like that right now.

Is there anything that you want really bad right now?
♪ I'm kinda hungry, and I've been craving chicken wings and fries.

Is there anyone, who when you hear their voice, you get butterflies?
♪ Matt... and a few singers I love.

Do you have a puppy?
♪ Well, he's not really a puppy anymore. He's about 4 years old.

Favorite song?
♪ Currenly it's "You and I" by Ingrid Michaelson. It's so cute and catchy.

Have you ever slept in a water bed?
♪ I've been on some, but I've never actually slept on one.

What's your favorite color?
♪ Pink!

Do you ever watch Spanish soap operas, even though you dont understand it?
♪ I do understand them. I'm fluent in Spanish. I don't like them though.

Who was the last person to unsuspectingly make you smile?
♪ Whoever wrote an online post I read earlier. I found out that Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman are doing a supernatural drama together called 'Black Swan'. It sounds super interesting.

When was the last time you used the word "lame"?
♪ Earlier this morning.

Are you the type of person who head-bangs to slow songs?
♪ Nope.

Has anyone ever called you a "troubled" child?
♪ Not at all. I was a weird, but happy kid.

Do you talk bad about people behind their backs?
♪ Hmm... sometimes. When someone does something that annoys me or whatever, I'll rant about it to Matt or something.

Do you have anything plugged in and charging right now?
♪ My ipod.

When was the last time you bought groceries?
♪ I believe it was about two weeks ago. I should go again though.

Do you think animal testing should be illegal?
♪ Yes... I've seen too many of those animal cruelty photos to think otherwise.

What was the last thing you laughed about?
♪ A Family Guy episode I watched.

What was the last thing that startled you?
♪ I was watching the movie 'Diary' from the Pang Brothers last night and there was this one scene that made me jump from the sudden noise. It was a great (if somewhat confusing) movie.

What was the last thing to make you even remotely sad?
♪ I finally read the book 'A Child Called It' after a friend of mine kept asking me to. It was so sad. I couldn't believe things like that are done to small children.

Do you dance crazily to upbeat music?
♪ I dance, but nor "crazily".

Have you seen "The Notebook"?
♪ YES! I love the movie and the book. It was sooo sad. I can't wait to see the new Rachel McAdams movie, The Time Traveler's Wife.

What is your absolute favorite smell?
♪ Italian food cooking. I love the smell of the sauces and the breads.

What were the last lyrics you sang out loud?
♪ "Near to you, I am healing but it's taking so long."

Are you in a two-story building right now?
♪ Yup. My apartment is on the second floor.

Do you watch reality shows?
♪ I like watching "America's Next Top Model" and "Dancing with the Stars"

Do you think hunting should be illegal?
♪ I really dislike hunting as a "sport".

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:34:09 GMT

25 random facts about yourself
1. I am terrible at math, and will do anything possible to avoid it.
2. I would much rather stay in with a good book or movie than go on a crazy night out with friends.
3. I really like watching supernatural horror movies late at night, preferably alone.
4. When I see a movie I really like, I like watching it again with people who haven't, to see how they react to it and whether they liked it as much as I did.
5. I think Johnny Depp is THE best actor. Ever.
6. I have a major problem with procrastination. It doesn't matter how important what I have to do is... I'll keep putting it off until the last possible minute.
7. I have a bit of a "girl crush" on Megan Fox.
8. If I find something new that I like, I'll obsess over it for a while.
9. Even though people tell me I am thin, I don't think I am...
10. I love cooking while listening to Michael Buble.
11. I've always been told I would be a good mother because I work well with with kids, but honestly, being around them too much annoys me.
12. Music is a big part of my life.
13. Even though I really dislike the whole Twilight Fandom thing, I really like the movie and the books.
14. On that note, I secretly think that Rob Pattinson is good looking, and I have since he was Cedric in Harry Potter.
15. My dream job would involve doing something in the field of parapsychology,
16. I'm thisclose to graduating from college, and I am terrified... I'm unsure of what I'll end up doing.
17. I really hate it when peopl assume that just because I am 22 years old and already married, I got pregnant or have kids something. Like I said, I don't think I want any. I got married to my high school sweetheart because we are in love.
18. I can be very stubborn and spoiled sometimes.
19. I really believe in things like ghosts and spirits. I can't see how those things wouldn't exist.
20. When I really sit down and concentrate, I actually write very good poetry.
21. I wish I could go in to an animal shelter and adopt all the animals in there... it breaks myt heart knowing they don't have a home or someone to love them.
22. I am terrified of losing someone I love.
23. Even though people often describe me as "very sweet", I can be a real bitch when I have to be.
24. I wish I had at least 1/10th of the writing talent that Stephen King has... one of my secret dreams is to write a novel... I suppose it stems from my love of reading and books in general.
25. I would do anything to protect the ones that I love.

24 Things you Love
1. Chick lit
2. Supernatural horror movies
3. Going to the movies
4. Green tea
5. Music
6. Trying out new restaurants
7. Jogging
8. The beach
9. Writing
10. Dancing
11. Ballet
12. Shopping
13. Shoes
14. The color pink
15. Gardenias
16. Playing with my dog
17. Spending day with Matt
18. Watching Gossip Girl
19. Chinese & Italian food
20. The paranormal
21. Photography
22. My family
23. Make up
24. Making love with Matthew

23 Things you don't like
1. When things don't go the way I would have liked
2. Being lied to
3. Hypocrites
4. Credit card offers (either at the store or by annoying phone calls)
5. Children who cry in a very loud, fake way at the store.
6. Hot, humid weather
7. Jealousy
8. The whole "emo trend"
9. People who complain about their weight WHILE they are eating something bad for them.
10. People who don't shut up at the theater during a movie.
11. People who boast about all they have
12. Ignorance
13. When people typee likeee thisss
14. MTV "reality" shows
15. Diet drinks
16. Any type of sweet bread (cake, cookies, etc.)
17. People who hunt for sport
18. People who don't take care of their pets properly
19. Close-mindedness
20. When people do unnecessary harm (murder, abuse, rape, etc.)
21. Getting sick
22. Headaches
23. Mosquitoes

22 People you love/admire
1. Matthew
2. My mom
3. My dad
4. My sister
5. My in-laws (Yes, I do... I lucked out in that department. They're very nice.)
6. Mayra
7. My cousins
8. Eric
9. My brothers-in-law... although they can annoy me at times
10. Andrea
11. My (big) extended family
12. Johnny Depp
13. Megan Fox
14. Leighton Meester
15. Ed Westwick
16. Stephen King
17. Jodi Picoult
18. Sophie Kinsella and various other chick-lit authors
19. Michael Jackson (R.I.P.)
20. Amy Lee
21. Jennifer Weiner
22. My dog, cause he's considered a big part of the family.

21 Good songs
1. The Way I Am- Ingrid Michaelson
2. Bedshaped- Keane
3. Inside Out- Emmy Rossum
4. Passing Afternoon- Iron & Wine
5. Forever Love (Digame)- Anna Nalick
6. Falling in love at a coffee shop- Landon Pigg
7. Boring- The Pierces
8. Time to say goodbye- Andrea Bocelli ft. Sarah Brightman
9. Flightless Bird, American Mouth- Iron & Wine
10. Guo Min- Rainie Yang
11. Passing By- Yiruma
12. Love Story- Taylor Swift
13. Shift work- Kenny Chesney
14. Everything- Michael Buble
15. Don't Worry Baby- The Beach Boys
16. Don't Know Why- Norah Jones
17. Understanding- Evanescence
18. The Way You Make Me Feel- Michael Jackson
19. My stupid mouth- John Mayer
20. Sere Nere- Tiziano Ferro
21. Thinking of you- Katy Perry

20 Things on your desk
1. Computer monitor
2. Computer mouse
3. A bunch of CDs
4. Computer keyboard
5. A plate
6. A few pens and pencils
7. A pink stapler
8. TV remote
9. Some library books
10. A photo frame with a picture of Matt and I at the beach
11. My earrings
12. A McDonald's cup
13. A bottle of cream from Bath & Body
14. Purple post-it notes
15. A roll of tape
16. The DVD case to Lost in Translation
17. My camera chip
18. A USB cable
19. Matt's pocket knife
20. Some glow stick bracelets

19 Good movies
1. Moulin Rouge
2. The Amityville Horror (2005 remake)
3. What Dreams May Come
4. The Eye 2
5. Riding in Cars with Boys
6. The Life Before Her Eyes
7. American Beauty
8. Don Juan De Marco
9. Mean Girls
10. Monster in Law
11. Knocked Up
12. Donnie Darko
13. Music & Lyrics
14. Girl, Interrupted
15. Revenge of the Fallen
16. 1408
17. Secret Window
18. The Dark Knight
19. Bride Wars

18 things in your purse/wallet
1. My wallet
2. A small bottle of Victoria's Secret Love Spell
3. Black eyeliner pencil
4. My I.D./drivers license
5. My college I.D.
6. Oats 'N Honey granola bar
7. A small bottle of hand sanitizer
8. A bunch of coins
9. My ipod
10. A pocket planer
11.My keys
12. USB
13. My digital camera
14. A mirror
15. My work name tag
16. An extra contact case
17. Chapstick
18. Nail file

17 places you have been to
1. Honolulu, Hawaii
2. Los Angeles
3. Waikiki Beach
4. Somewhere in Mexico (forgot the name of the place)
5. Houston, TX
6. San Antonio, TX
7. Various amusement parks
8. A few different zoos
9. A BUNCH of museums
10.(I need to travel more!)
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.

16 Things you have learned in life
1. If I ask, someone can be there to help me
2. Life goes on
3. People can't always be trusted
4. In certain situations, it is better to give up and move on
5. You have to put yourself first sometimes, no matter how selfish it may seem
6. The lies you tell yourself will catch up to you
7. No matter how hard a situation might seem to you, someone out there has it worse than you
8. Life was not meant to be fair
9. Bad things happen to good people
10. You have to fight for what you want
11. Sometimes ignorance really IS bliss
12. Love is worth fighting for
13. Just when it seems you can't go on... you will
14. You have to do what you are most afraid of sometimes... i
15. All the hard work you do and complain about? Someday it'll all pay off
16. You CAN fight fate

15 Things you want to do/see before you die
1. I want to go sky diving
2. Write a novel
3. Go on a cruise
4. Go to Paris
5. I want to have started my own career in the field of psychology
6. Meet Stephen King
7. Read all the books on my list
8. (Maybe) start a family
9. Start a regular girls' night out... it's so difficult with my current schedule
10. Get better at swimming
11. Go see a Dallas Cowboys game
12. Learn to play a full song on the violin
13. Go to Tokyo
14. Shop 'till I drop at NYC
15. Have a huge backyard for all the pets I'll be rescuing

14 Things you can cook
1. Spaghetti (from scratch)
2. Lasagna (from scratch)
3. Omelets
4. Fried Chicken (from scratch)
5. Rice
6. Chicken wings
7. Pot roast
8. Strawberry pie
9. Pancakes
10. Soup
11. Burgers
12. Shrimp (and shrimp pasta/salads)
13. Steak (on the grill)
14. Grilled chicken

13 Good singers/bands
1. Iron & Wine
2. Evanescence
3. Anna Nalick
4. Ingrid Michaelson
5. Norah Jones
6. Michael Buble
7. Andrea Bocelli
8. Yiruma
9. Justin Timberlake
10. Michael Jackson
11. Emmy Rossum
12. Taylor Swift
13. Linkin Park

12 Good TV Shows
1. Gossip Girl
2. America's Next Top Model
3. Family Guy
4. Dancing with the Stars
5. The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.

11 things you do daily
1. Go to the gym
2. Wake up
3. Brush my teeth
4. Listen to music
5. Read
6. Eat
7. Drink water
8. Hang out with Matt
9. Take a shower
10. Take out my dog
11. Text someone or other

10 Traits to describe yourself
1. Creative
2. Way too emotional
3. Sentimental
4. Intelligent
5. A bit shy at times
6. Talkative to those that know me well
7. Pretty lovable
8. Caring
9. Thoughful
10. Driven

9 things you belive in
1. Ghosts/spirits (life after death)
2. Going for what you want
3. Animal rights
4. True love
5. Soul mates
6. That there is life out there in the universe somewhere (not just on earth)
7. Beauty
8. Freedom
9. That maybe...somehow... there will be world peace. Somehow.

8 words that you don't like
1. "Granola"
2. "Fart"
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.

7 friends that you like to hang out with
1. Mayra
2. My sister
3. My cousin
4. "A" and her hubby
5.
6.
7.

6 colors you like
1. Pink
2. Black
3. White
4. Red
5. Yellow
6. Blue

5 things you are against
1. Animal abuse
2. Child abuse
3. Hunting for sport
4. Murder/rape
5. Racism

4 favorite things to do
1. Read
2. Watch movies
3. Listen to music
4. Be with Matt

3 things you wish for
1. To find a career I love
2. Happiness
3. To achive what I want in life with the ones I love by my side

2 people you live with
1. Matt
2.

1 thing you want to do when you grow up
1. To travel the world with Matthew by my side <3

Mon, 04 May 2009 19:18:45 GMT

I had been waiting for this video to come out!

www.esquire.com/the-side/video/megan-fox-video

Only trouble is, gee whiz, I'm dreaming my life away

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 19:50:34 GMT

Sometimes...

It's so much easier to just dream about what you want... imagine you have what you want... picture what it would be like to be what you want.
But you're never actually what you want.
And I want alot of things I can't seem to have. There are too many things seeming to keep me from it. Some of those things were created by me. They're invisible obstacles I've dreamt up. How can you fight what you can't see? How can you fight yourself?
I know what I want.
And I'm sick of being kept away from it.
Enough is enough.
It's mine for the taking. At least I know it can be,
It's time for my dreams to become reality. Time for me to shut out everything except what I want.
It's just scary sometimes, you know? What happens when you get it? What happens when you're finally there? Is there a button someone automatically pushes for you to be happy? What if what you think would make you happy leaves you feeling worse?
Is it worth the chance?
The optimist in me screams YES! IT'LL BE WORTH IT!
But will it really?
I hope it is. I hope it's worth all that and more. So, so much more.
Because frankly I feel I am going insane. I feel like I'm burning myself out at the age of 22 for something... What that something is I don't know.
But I guess it's time to go and find out.
It's time to wake up.

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 23:12:46 GMT

I found this workout to do on a treadmill. I'm gonna try it ASAP!

Warm up for 4 minutes at a level 3.
Sprint for 30 seconds at a level 7.
Recover for 90 seconds at a level 4.
Sprint for 30 seconds at a level 8.
Recover for 90 seconds at a level 4.
Sprint for 30 seconds at a level 9.
Recover for 30 seconds at a level 4.
Sprint for 30 seconds at a level 7.
Recover for 90 seconds at a level 4.
Sprint for 30 seconds at a level 8.
Recover for 90 seconds at a level 4.
Sprint for 30 seconds at a level 9.
Recover for 30 seconds at a level 4.
Sprint for 30 seconds at a level 7.
Cool down for 3 minutes, 30 seconds at level 3.

101 in 2009

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 18:07:10 GMT

I'm going to be keeping this list starting January 1, 2009. It's a list of all the things I want to accomplish in the upcoming year. I tried to be realitic about my list, but I still put in a lot of things I've wanted to do in my life. Like, I didn't put stuff like "go to London", because I know we won't have the necessary funds to do so. It's realistic, but it should be a lot of fun. I can't wait to get started. I feel really, really good about this. It's like I am finally going to do a lot of what I have wanted. If I feel like the particular event was memorable or something, I'll explain in detail exactly what went about. I probably won't do it for everything on the list, but... More than likely I'll write a lot. It's what I do.

Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp,
or what's a heaven for?

101 THINGS TO DO IN 2009

1. Work out five times a week for a MINIMUM of 20 minutes
2. Do not have any fast food for 4 whole months (not consecutive) 0/4
3. Do not have any hot fries/hot cheetos for 4 months (not consecutive) 0/4
4. Read all six of the Jane Austen novels 0/6
5. ~~Go on a roadtrip~~
6. Take a dance class with Matthew
7. Lose 10 pounds
8. Drink the eight recommended glasses of water everyday
9. Learn yoga
10. Learn to speak (some) Italian
11. Go to see a live play
12. Write a story that pops into my head, even if it is short
13. ~~Clean out Rowdy's cage once every two weeks!~~
14. Go get a professional mani/peni
15. Learn to cook 5 new things 0/5
16. Try three new foods that I have never tried before 0/3
17. ~~Go horseback riding on the beach~~
18. Start learning how to swim
19. Save change (only silver coins) everyday in a jar and DON'T TOUCH IT AT ALL
20. Try acupuncture
21. ~~Read a book recommended by someone else, even if it is not my taste~~
22. ~~Not dye my hair at all this year; keep it it's natural haircolor~~
23. Complete a book of sudoku puzzles all on my own (any level) (In Progress)
24. Learn to play at least one tune on my guitar
25. Play that song for Matthew
26. ~~Give presents to loved ones for no reason at all~~
27. Go to the zoo
28. Visit a new museum
29. ~~Try out a new restaurant~~
30. ~~Learn to play a sport (one I don't already play)~~
31. Take Guizmo on weekly trips to the park
32. Get a 28 inch waist
33. ~~Learn to play a game on xbox 360~~
34. Go to a ballet
35. Participate in a marathon
36. ~~Keep my GPA 3.0 or higher~~
37. ~~Buy something spur of the moment that I don't need but want anyway~~
38. Go bike riding at least once a week
39. Go on a hike
40. Learn how to play chess
41. ~~Read 50 books I haven't read before~~
42. Keep up with a skin/beauty regimen
43. Take Centrum pills every day
44. ~~Watch 10 Indie films~~
45. Paint a picture
46. Take a picture of something memorable every day
47. ~~Discover something new in music~~
48. Go to a bonfire at the island
49. Watch the stars at the beach with a real romantic picnic
50. Take a professional photo
51. ~~Buy a cell phone~~
52. Stop procrastinating in school
53. Attend a comedy show
54. Attend a music event
55. ~~Go dance at a club~~
56. ~~Learn something new at work~~
57. Win employee of the month
58. Keep up with one "Go Green" method
59. ~~Keep a plant~~
60. Try something new sexually every week
61. Get my license
62. Do something I am afraid of
63. Stop buying junk food during breaks at work
64. ~~Participate in a kareoke event~~
65. Give up soda for an 4 months (not consecutive) 0/4
66. Read the BSC series books I got in order
67. Learn 10 phrases in Japanese
68. Learn to do a split
69. Go to a carnival with Matt
70. ~~Have a chick flick movie night~~
71. ~~Go to a midnight movie premier~~
72. ~~Get my library card~~
73. Go on a real picnic
74. Take a sexy photo for Matthew as a gift
75. Go on a ghost hunt/tour
76. Host a dinner party
77. Do a strip tease for Matthew
78. ~~Attend a party~~
79. Apply for 5 scholarships 0/5
80. Get my CP
81. ~~Bake someone a cake~~
82. Have a romantic, candlelit dinner at home
83. Get up to see the sunrise at least 15 times 0/15
84. Watch 10 foreign films
85. Get my first professional massage
86. Participate in a school event
87. Submit a story to a magazine for possible publication
88. Get the carpet cleaned
89. Try 10 different types of tea 0/10
90. ~~Keep the onions in my burger~~
91. Add a salad to every other meal
92. Keep bills and pay checks organized
93. Listen to every album in my ipod
94. Send information to the clinic
95. Get a medical checkup
96. Get missing vaccinations
97. Visit the dentist
98. ~~Buy new glasses~~
99. Get cable TV
100. Buy a new DVD rack
101. Get the recommended eight hours of sleep every night

I bet I can do every single thing on this list.

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 18:41:15 GMT

Something totally random happened, and I don't know whether or not to think of it as good or bad. "G" has been emailing me lately, and I actually wrote back.

She and I were such good friends... we were best friends all throughout high school. We had a falling out over something completely stupid. In fact, I didn't even know what the hell was going on... She just stopped talking to me from one day to the next. When I found out why, I was so upset. It was so STUPID. High school bullshit.

I know that even now that we have started "talking" again things will never be the way they were. We can never go back to being best friends the way we were in high school.
But it's nice, catching up on our lives. She's pregnant now, and she hadn't even told me. In fact, I only found out cause I happened to be on her myspace page and saw other people congratulating her. I wasn't even invited to her baby shower. It stung a bit, I'll admit that... But whatever. I don't need that crap...

So yeah, she's unwed, pregnant, living with her mom with her unemployed boyfriend, and she dropped out of school and has some crappy minimum wage job. I haven't seen her in the longest time, but I heard she's not looking too great.

Hell... It makes me sad, cause she was always more popular than I was back in high school. She was more outgoing, and always had some guy or other after her. I was quiet and bookworm-ish, and while some guys were interested, I usually was not.
But now look at me. I married the guy of my dreams (who is employed and in college). We had a great wedding and honeymooned in Hawaii. We have our own place, I have a good and stable job, and I am one year from graduating from college. I have no kids because I am waiting until I have graduated and have started a career. I have an adorable dog, and a cute pet mouse though. All that, and I am just 22 years old.
It's amazing how different our lives are.
And though I would have wanted things to be better for her, I can't help but be happy that I succeeded. Me, the girl that was always overlooked.

I am BETTER than she is. And I'm glad, and I flaunt it. Is that bad? Does that make me a bad, selfish person?
I do hope she gets her act together and goes back to college.
If not for her sake, but for the baby.

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:53:24 GMT

I should be happy, and I am I suppose, deep down inside. I guess I'm just afraid of what this will bring: I am almost a college graduate and I am freaking out. I don't know what I want to do with my life... I mean, I do.... I just don't know if I'll be able to do it. I have a great support system. I always have someone behind me, pushing me forward and telling me "Of COURSE you'll be able to do it!"

But how do they know?
I'm 22, but I feel so much younger.
And yet so much OLDER.
I don't know. I think I'm rambling.

Then there's the whole weight issue. Damn it, why can't I just stop obssesing about my body? I keep thinking of ways to make myself thinner... And then when I don't go through with them I beat myself up about it.
And I'm turning into such a bitch. I'm so critical of others... I realized it this morning.
You see, every morning I wait for Matthew in a couch that's just right outside of his class, and every morning at the same time this girl (she looks maybe a few years older than me...give or take 28 years old) walks by to her office, which is right across from Matt's class. And every morning I watch as she carries a McDonald's breakfast meal into her office, sits at her desk, and eats while she works.

What bugs me is that this girl is very overweight. She's big... And that breakfast thing she eats every damn morning bugs the hell out of me. It's disgusting, and she's not helping herself. I think to myself, "How can she put that gross, jelly & butter covered biscuit into her mouth? Doesn't she want to get better? Doesn't she look in the mirror?" It makes ME not want to eat.

As I was thinking about that yet again this morning, it suddenly occured to me that my obssesion with my own body is making me into someone different. Someone with thoughts I never would have had. Mean, ugly thoughts.
I don't want that, and yet I can't stop.

I want to be thinner. I want to be beautiful. I want to be better.
Perfect.
No matter what.

I don't want to be the girl with the McDonald's breakfast meal.

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 17:46:01 GMT

If I were a month, I would be:

If I were a season I'd be:
That time between Fall and not quite Winter :)

If I were a fruit I would be:

If I were a day of the week, I would be:

If I were a state of mind I'd be:
Daydream

If I were a sin, I would be:

If I were a type of makeup id be:

If I were a writing utensil I'd be a:

If I were a planet, I would be:

If I were a source of light I'd be :
You never know when I will decide to just flicker out

If I were a liquid, I would be:
A single drop of water

If I were a stone, I would be:
Opal

If I were a tree, I would be:
A cherry blossom

If I were a bird, I would be:

If I were a flower/plant, I would be:
A white rose not yet fully blossomed, but getting there

If I were a kind of weather, I would be:
A lightning storm- totally unexpected

If I were a musical instrument, I would be:

If I were an animal, I would be:

If I were an emotion, I would be:

If I were a vegetable, I would be:

If I were a sound, I would be:

If I were an element, I would be:
Silver

If I were a song, I would be:
At the moment, 'Gardenia' by Mandy Moore

If I were a movie, I would be:

If I were a book, I would be written by:

If I were a food, I would be:

If I were a holiday I'd be:

If I were a word, I would be:

If I were a place, I would be:
The country

If I were a taste, I would be:
A pink Starburst

If I were a beverage I'd be:

If I were a scent, I would be:

If I were a religion, I would be:

If I were a Disney princess i'd be:

If I were a body part, I would be:

If I were a facial expression, I would be:

If I were a subject in school, I would be:
Literature

If I were a number, I would be:

If I were a piece of jewelery, I would be:

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be:

If I were a car, I would be:

If I were an item of clothing, I would be:
Mini skirt

If I were a disney character i'd be:
A princess

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 05:52:48 GMT

The Basics
Gender? Female
Sexual Orientation? Straight
Single? Happily married :)
Would you like to be? Never
Birthday? October 31
Age you act? I think I act a few years older than my 21
Age you wish you were? I like being 21
Height? About 5'3
Eye color? Dark brown
Happy with it? I guess so
Hair color? Red
Happy with it? At the moment, yes
Left/right/ambidextrous? Righty
Your living arrangement? Got a super nice apartment with the hubby
Family? Yup, I have a huge family! Well, a huge extended family.
Job? I like my job.... Won't say where though!
Piercings? Just my ears!
Tattoos? None
Obsessions? Reading! Buying movies and going to the movies... my hubby's kisses...
Can you speak another language? Yes, Spanish, Italian, and I am currently learning Japanese
Favorite quote? I have a lot of favorite ones, but I've always liked "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." ~Moulin Rouge (best movie ever!)
Any webpages? Nah...

Deep Thoughts
Do you live in the moment? I try to
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? It depends... I can't really tolerate ignorant people
Do you have any secrets? Yes
Do you hate yourself? Sometimes
Do you like your handwriting? Actually, yeah
Do you have any bad habits? Yeah....
What is the compliment you get most from people? I get complimented on how I do my eyeshadow a lot.
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? I don't know, but I would HATE for there to be a movie about me. I hate the thought of people knowing me, you know?
What's your biggest fear? Losing someone I love.... And spiders!!!
Can you sing? I like to think I can :)
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? I have a hard enough time being myself, let alone someone else!
Are you a loner? Somewhat... People tend to think so because I am super shy and rarely talk. So I usually end up sitting alone. But I don't mind. Not anymore.
If you were another person, would you want to be friends with you? Yes. I can be a very good friend when given the chance.
Are you a daredevil? Not particularly
Is there anything you fear/hate about yourself? My obsession with things... The fact that I can't stop thinking... The obsession I have with trying to be thin....
Are you passive or agressive? Somewhere in the middle
What is your greatest strength and weakness? My strengths- I am very loyal, loving, and understading. I can hekp people through things and I am smart. Weaknesses- I'm scared of gaining weight, and therefore I can't enjoy myself without thinking about everything I put in my mouth. I also obsess about things too much.
If you could change one thing about yourself? Ugh, my current weight (113 lbs)
There are three wells: love, beauty & creativity. Which one do you choose? I have Matt, so I have a lot of love... I am already a very creative person (sometimes TOO creative).... But getting beauty so easily like that seems odd, and I don't think I would get that either.
How do you vent? Music! Or writing in my journal.
Do you think you are emotionally strong? I am very emotional, but I don't think I am strong. I think because I am so friggin emotional, I crack easily.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing? Um...yeah
Do you think life has been good so far? It's been very good. A few downs, you know, but good nonetheless.
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? Just BREATHE! Take it a day at a time.
What do you like most about your body? Um... My legs- I go jogging a lot, so they are very toned and strong right now.
And least? My abs... I can be a lot tinier there than what I am!
Do you find yourself attractive? Somewhat...
Are you confident? Depends
What fictional character are you most like? Hmm... I think Mia Thermopolis from The Princess Diaries series by Meg Cabot. We think alike :)
Do people know how you feel? Not all the time. I tend to hide things a lot
Are you perceived wrongly? Sometimes

Do you...
Smoke? No
Do drugs? Never have, never will
Read the newspaper? Yes
Pray? No
Go to church? No
Talk to strangers who IM you? I don't IM
Sleep with stuffed animals? No, I cuddle with my hubby
Take walks in the rain? I did this one time. It was nice.
Talk to people even though you hate them? Sometimes, if I have to.
Drive? Yup
Like to drive fast? Nah, I'm a cautious driver

Have you ever...
Hurt yourself? Yes, both accidently and purposely (which I regret)
Been out of the country? Yeah
Eaten something that made others sick? We went to this pizza place once and everyone got stomach aches except for me... Weird.
Been unfaithful? Never
Been in love? I am totally in love right now
Done drugs? Nope
Gone skinny dipping? No
Had surgery? No
Ran away from home? Heh, no
Played strip poker? No!
Got beaten up? Fortunately no
Been picked on? I used to get picked on so much in elementary for being too skinny and short for my age :/
Been on stage? Yeah
Slept outdoors? Um...no
Pulled an all-nighter? To study, not really
What's your record? /i went 25 hours straight with no sleep once
Talked on the phone all night? Yeah, when me and Matt were still just dating
Slept together with someone of the opposite sex but didn't have sex? Yes
Slept all day? Yeah
Killed someone? Nope
Made out with a stranger? No, ew
Had sex with a stranger? That's a big NO
Had sex at all? Yes, and it was amazing ;D
Thought you were going crazy? Yup
Kissed the same sex? Not really, just like a friendly "hello" kiss
Anything sexual with the same sex? Nope
Been betrayed? Yeah, by so called "friends"
Had a dream that came true? Yes, I met my soul mate <3
Broken the law? Eh... kinda
Met someone famous? No
Killed an animal by accident? No!
Stolen anything? Heh, at the store one time I accidently walked out with a pair of earrings I had been looking at. I was distracted talking on the phone, but I was too embarrased to go back in and return them.
Been on the radio/TV? Nope
Been in a mosh-pit? Yes
Had a nervous breakdown? A few times, not fun!
Considered a religious vocation? I'm not religious
Been criticized about your sexual performance? No
Bungee jumped? No
Had a reoccuring dream? Yes

Clothing...
Shoe brand? Whatever I see that I think is nice
Clothing brand? Same as above
Scent? 'Love Spell' from Victoria's Secret
Normal attire? Usually jeans with a nice top and heels or something
Do you wear hats? Nah
Do you wear make-up? Yes! I LOVE eyeshadow!
Favorite place to shop? I think maybe Target
Favorite article of clothing? Shirts
Are you trendy? When I want to be
Would you rather wear a uniform to school? Nope, I'm in college

Beliefs...
Life on other planets? Yes. It is human arrogance to believe that we are the only intelligence in a universe that is supposedly so vast and never ending.
Miracles? Yes
Astrology? Not really, but I've had some awesome coincidences a few times! :)
Magic? Maybe....
God? I'm not sure... I'm agnostic
Satan? Same as above
Santa? Nope :(
Ghosts? YES!!! Energy can't be destroyed right? I think sometimes it stays here...
Luck? Yes, some form of it. It's all in the person's mindset
Love? Of course
Love at first sight? Yes
Yin & Yang? Kind of, sure
Witches? Hmm...not in the way the media has made the term "witches" into, but yeah.
Easter bunny? Nope
Is it possible to be faithful forever? Yes
Is there a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? I like to think rainbows don't really end
Do you wish on stars? Sometimes

Love...
Do you remember your first love? I'm with him right now
Still love him/her? Yes
Do you consider love a mistake? No
What do you find romantic? A lot of little things
Turn-on? Matt :D
Turn-off? Obesity, smoking, ignorance... rudeness!
Do you go more by looks or personality? Both
Do you think the opposite sex finds you attractive? I think so, kinda
What is best about the opposite sex? Guys are more relaxed and fun to be around
And worst? Hmm... they're clueless sometimes
What's the last present someone gave you? I think it was a book
Are you in love? Completely
Is you signifcant other hot? VERY ^_^

The last person who...
Haunted you? Ugh....
You wanted to kill? No one
You laughed at? Some coworkers of mine
Turned you on? Matt
You went shopping with? Matt
Broke your heart? It was a long time ago, not important anymore
Disappointed you? Myself
Made you cry? Some actor in a movie I watched
Brightened your day? My dog, when he jumped on me when I got home from work
You thought about? Matt <3
You saw a movie with? I actually went today with my hubby
You talked to on the phone? My mom, she called when I was on my way home
You talked to on IM? I don't IM
You saw? Matt, and he just went to bed
You lost? My grandfather
You thought was insane? No one lately
You told off? No one
You trusted? Matt
You turned down? A coworker had asked me out, but he didn't know I was married

When was the last time you...
Smiled? A few minutes ago, when Matt told me he made me dinner :)
Laughed? At work, during our "competitions"
Cried? Watching a movie today
Bought something? Um....I bought some sunflower seeds and a tea this afternoon
Danced? Ugh, it's been too long!
Were sarcastic? Yesterday
Hugged someone? Today
Talked to an ex? We don't talk
Watched your favorite movie? It's been a long while
Had a nightmare? Last night! I need to stop reading Stephen King at night! O_o
Talked on the phone? Like a half hour ago
Listened to the radio? I don't like the radio
Watched TV? This afternoon, Tyra
Went out? The movies today
Helped someone? Today at work
Were mean? I don't think I am mean
Sang? Last night in the shower
Saw a movie in a theater? This afternoon
Said "I love you"? A few minutes ago, when Matt went to bed
Missed somone? Hmm... not lately
Fought with a family member? Haven't
Fought with a friend? A few months ago, we don't speak anymore, unfortunately
Had a serious conversation? Um... a few days ago, I think
Got drunk? Never been drunk, only buzzed :)
Had sex? This afternoon <3

Ten Songs You Love
1. Good Enough- Evanescence
2. Understading- Evanescence
3. Catalyst- Anna Nalick
4. Save the Last Dance for me- Michael Buble
5. Time to say goodbye- Andrea Bocelli & Sarah Brightman
6. Cool- Gwen Stefani
7. Paper bag- Anna Nalick
8. Wreck of the day- Anna Nalick
9. Something- Jim Sturgess, Across the Universe soundtrack
10. Sway- Michael Buble

Nine Things That Make You Smile
1. Matt
2. Family
3. My dog
4. A new book
5. Family Guy
6. My ipod
7. Buying a new movie/going to see a new movie
8. Dining out
9. Kissing Matt

Eight Things You Wear Daily
1. Clothes
2. Make up
3. Deodorant
4. Perfume
5. My wedding ring
6. A watch
7. Cream
8. Sunblock

Seven Things That Annoy You
1. Ignorance
2. Rude people
3. Not getting what I want (sometimes)
4. Bad parents
5. A messy house
6. Failing at something I worked hard on
7. Gas prices

Six Things You're Looking Forward To
1. Going to watch The Strangers this weekend (hopefully)
2. Buying The Eye dvd on Friday
3. October
4. Payday!
5. My anniversary in a few weeks
6. Finishing reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King

Five Things You're Afraid Of
1. Losing someone I love
2. Spiders
3. Roaches
4. Creepy strangers
5. Weird noises during the night

Four Favorite Things To Do
1. Read
2. Write in my journal
3. Hang out with loved ones
4. Listen to my ipod

Three Goals You Wish To Accomplish
1. Graduate from college
2. Have my own house
3. Start a family

Two Things You Wish For In Life
1. Happiness
2. Always having the ones I love near me

One Thing You Can't Live Without
1. Family

Just because I am bored!

Thu, 08 May 2008 18:12:57 GMT

Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone?
-Matthew, a little while ago.

Do you get bored of girlfriend/boyfriends easily?
-I never get bored with Matt :)

What was your worst subject in school?
-Math, and it STILL is!

What is the best eye color on a member of the opposite sex?
-I love my honey's eyes the best. They are like a rich chocolate brown.

Do you like your job?
-I guess so. I'm getting a bit bored with it though and I'm thinking of looking for a new one.

What are your initials?
-C.D.

Are you a good speller?
-Yes! Unless it's a typo :)

What was the last movie you saw in theaters, was it good?
-Iron Man, and it was AWESOME! Oh, and if anyone is reading this I suggest you stay after the credits!

How many and what kind of animals are in your house?
-2, a puppy and a mouse.

Where did your last hug take place?
-In my bedroom

Do you shop at Abercrombie & Fitch?
-Nope

How much money do you have on you right now?
-Not that much, but I get paid tomorrow

When is the last time you took a nap?
-Yesterday afternoon, after working out.

What are you disappointed about right now?
-That I am not going to see my honey the WHOLE FREAKIN DAY!

Could you date someone taller than you?
-Matt is taller than me.

When was the last time something bothered you?
-See two questions above

What is your current mood?
-I'm just kinda bored. I'm been cooped up at the house the past two days, going on three days.

What song is stuck in your head right now?
-"Time to say goodbye" by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
-Yes, and I didn't mean to

Have you ever felt an earthquake?
-Nope

Do you believe in karma?
-Yes, most of the time

Are you an organ donor?
-No, but I want to be

Who is your best friend?
-My honey

Do you gossip?
-No, but I love Gossip GIrl :D

Have you ever been stabbed in the back?
-Yes, by so called "friends"

How old are you?
-Twenty one

Ever seen the Saw movies?
-I saw part one, which I really liked cause it was more like psychological fear. Watched part two and thought it was dumb (no more real fear just gore and torture) and I haven't seen any of the rest.

Favorite kind of flower?
-White roses

What are you doing tonight?
-Going to work, sleeping, spend some "quality time" with my man ;)

Do you keep a condom in your purse/wallet?
-No

Your parents tell you they're going to split up, how would you react?
-I would be shocked, and then sad.

The person you're in love with moves across the world, what do you do?
-Go with him, of course

Best feature about the preferred sex?
-Well, I love Matt's back and shoulders. So sexy

If you could change your eye color would you?
-No, as it is I only wear clear contact lenses.

What's your opinion on 'drunk dialing'?
-Don't have one, but it must be annoying?

Would you ever forgive someone if they cheated on you?
-No....Maybe with time I WOULD forgive, but I would never forget.

Do you want someone you can't have?
-No, I have him already

_________________________________________________________________

Have you ever punched anyone in the face?
- No, but I have been tempted before.

Do you miss anything or anyone?
- Kind of, but they were really mean to me recently so screw them

Who makes you laugh no matter what?
- My love

Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past five hours?
- I kissed Matthew when I woke up this morning, before he had to leave for work

Who was the last person you talked to?
- Matt, on the phone

Do you think it is bad to have sex at your age?
- I’m 21 and married, so of course not

Will you get married?
- I am married already and totally happy

Do you lie about your age?
- I don’t feel the need to

If you were to have sex right now, would you use a condom?
- Nope

When did you last cry?
- I don't remember

Do you think you were ever in love?
- I thought so a few times, but it wasn't real until now.

Have you started a horrible rumor about somebody?
- Nope

Have you ever done hallucinogenic drugs?
- No

Do you think your future will be a good one?
- I think it will... it's already on a good path

Did you date anyone this past summer?
- Just my hubby :)

Is there someone you want to fight?
- Nah. I’m so not a fighter.

What color shirt were you wearing when your last kiss took place?
- I don't know

Does anyone like you?
- I hope a few people do, I know Matt does

What’s your middle name?
- Don't have one

What were you doing an hour ago?
- Watching Gossip Girl

What does your last text message in your inbox say?
- I’m not going to check, I'm too lazy

Do you wear the seatbelt in the car?
- Always

Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
- Sober and romantic

Who did you last talk to on the phone?
- Matt...he's at work

Where will you be in the next hour?
- Here, probably still bored.

Are you taller than your mom?
- Slightly

Are you an emotional person?
- Yes VERY emotional

Who did you last yell at?
- No one, I'm not really the yelling type

Are you confused?
- All the time :)

What are you listening to right now?
- Gossip Girl playing in the background

Do you crack your knuckles?
- Yes, horrible habit

What do you want?
- To see my honey

What is the background on your cell phone?
- It's just like scenery

Describe your phone:
- Ugh, it's not worth describing. I need a new one.

If you could trade lives with anyone, who would it be?
- No one. I am so happy with mine.

Do you get everything you want?
- Not all the time.

Have you ever broken your nose?
- Nope

Has anyone ever spread a rumor about you?
- Yes, but they are just stupid sad little people

Do you have any trophies?
- Yeah

Have you ever punched a hole in the wall?
- No

What’s on your wish list for birthday?
- I don't know yet. My birthday isn't until October

Do you think you are a good person?
- Yes

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
- Both

You go into walmart and have $20 to spend, what do you buy?
- Probably a movie and some snacks for a movie night!

You're sitting at home bored, who do you call?
- Well, if matt is not with me I would probably call my mom or something. I like talking to her... then maybe my sis.

What are you excited about?
- We're gonna go see a dallas cowboys football game!

What woke you up this morning?
- My dog jumped on my stomach

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
- Yes.... and I miss him now

What are you doing tomorrow?
- Getting paid!

Do you lecture people about drugs?
- No

Do you delete people off of myspace?
- Sometimes, if I never speak to them or if we are not really friends.

When was the last time you saw your father?
- Yesterday, my parents came to visit

Do you want to be in a relationship?
- I'm in the perfect one

Did you do something you kind of regret this week?
- Yeah, I ate too much....